Female fatale? Oh no..just feminine, thank you

Sometimes, I have doubts that I'm genuinely a woman. No, I'm not talking about me being a hermaphrodite or anything anatomically or physiologically of the sort. Just, you know, my gist. Does every woman feel this way? Or perhaps just those you became wiser through the process in life and a couple of bad ...I mean really baaaaaad relationships, so much so, we became stronger inside. More like loosing the "innocence" as men would put it.



Well, if knowing all men's tricks just to get laid means loosing innocence, than I'm glad I'm not one of those woman who is naive enough to think that men don't lie when they say they'll never lie to you..now, THAT is the biggest lie ever by the way.


I'm talking about feminity or femininity. I googled and Merriam Webster Online Dictionary gave the definition as "the quality or nature of the female sex". Okay, this definition, to me is not helping. Just having a vagina does not constitute femininity, I'm sure those people who are responsible for the irresponsible release of fatwas must know more than say, why it is not right to blow up civilians in the name of God. So I resume my search for the meaning of femininity
(I'm using this term instead of the shorter "feminity" because, my notebook keep underlining the word "feminity" in red, just to suggest it is wrong in spelling, everytime I type the word, and it is driving me nuts). Good old Wikipedia came up with a better answer,


Femininity (also called womanliness) refers to qualities and behaviors judged by a particular culture to be ideally associated with or especially appropriate to women and girls. Distinct from femaleness, which is a biological and physiological classification concerned with the reproductive system, femininity principally refers to secondary sex characteristics and other behaviors and features generally regarded as being more prevalent and better suited to women, whether inborn or socialized. In traditional Western culture, such features include gentleness, patience, vanity, superficiality and kindness.

Apart from the intact secondary sex characteristics (so okay, I take after my father in being flat chested, but hey, I did breast fed my kid although I lost to the cows milk in preference due to the inability to cope up with infant's demands, but small does not constitute absent), gentleness...well, my husband never complained (then again, I married a Punjabi), patience...hmm...this is where I'm getting screwed by definition...vanity...oh..oh..when was the last time I saw my reflection in the mirror? Just like sex, if I pause to think of an answer, the answer would be "too long"...superficiality. Wait a minute....not all women are superficial!!! I'm deep. I'm basically deeper than an abyss of deepness!!! So deep I sometimes cannot decipher my own depth...what the fish do they mean by superficiality as a characteristic of a female !!! Half the men I dated and dumped are superficial, and trust me, they don't have a vagina to match!! Snort!!

and kindness...well, if being cruel in order to be kind is considered as kindness, than I'm all female..phew!!

It's either I'm not feminine, or the people responsible in defining "femininity" should rewrite the definition. Or wait, perhaps the females of today need to redefine femininity, taking into account, the evolution women have gone through to become the women we are today.

How would I redefine femininity? Assuming we've established the fact that all femininity constitutes a vagina, boobs and butts as qualification, well for starters, the habit of crying to get what we want, should not be ascociated with femininity ( albeit it still works and you may find this trick in "How to boss men around for Dummies" reserve this for emergency casses only). The old trick of "Oh mah gawd, I've dropped maaah handkerchief" should be made obsolete. Well it's halfway there because women hardly use handkerchief anymore, since Kleenex. Instead, women should learn how to just voice out our needs, sparing the lacrimal gland from work. It's too demeaning.

For the married single parent women (married to a hopeless man who doesn't contribute ergo as good as being a single mom plus the occasional mercy corpulations), who should be wearing their underwear over their pants just like the other Superheroes, may not have time to be vain or patient (infants can sometimes take up 2 hours just to finish a meal), but I think they are more feminine than any femininities put together.

Kindness. Well, I can't say this to women who'd go all the way to wreck a happy marriage just to get laid, or worse, married. There's no kindness in there but they are the type who have time to indulge in vanity and patience....patience of plotting and planning how to get her man. For the women who struggle to keep a family together, and who have encountered with these unkind female species, trust me, you are more feminine than these bitches. You know what they say about poison fruits that has to look attractive for the animals to come eat them? Well, only dumb animals eat poison fruits. So, don't cry a tear when your husband fall for this type of bitches. It's like getting rid of a dumb animal....

Strenght. That's what redefines the women of this millenium. We have no choice but to be strong. Strong of course do not mean steroid muscullar, I can take my hubby down in a fist fight strenght, although there is nothing wrong with that too. But strong inside I guess. "For every successful man , there is a strong woman behind him" , it's true. What is not written in that phrase is "a woman, who is not just strong, but supportive, understanding, emphatic, loving woman just waiting to kick the hubby's butt should he slackened"...take that for femininity yawl...

So yes, having written this, and redefining "femininity" , now I feel much better and all womanly....too bad not many men are wise enough to realize this. In Malaysian setting, to me, (who happens to be a screwed up female, and nightmare to the male species, if not a weapon of mass destruction yet) femininity still constitutes ;(here are the top 10)

1. Inferiority - women are just inferior to men. The more you accept this fact, the more feminine you are regarded.
2. Superiority disguised - even if you are smarter than your man, at least have the audacity of pretending to be dumber...it's socially acceptable.
3. Should not drive (although this one I tend to agree)
4. Exclusively for Muslim women - the enormous ability to sacrifice your gray matter and accept things that allegedly will get you go to heaven, such as polygamy, cover up the whole body, be totally if not partially dependant to the husband, did I mention polygamy?
5. Able to giggle with a single sigh
6. Nagging. Women should nag. Otherwise men won't have another reason to cheat.
7. Shopping. Well, someone has got to finish the lump sum of money the husband is making otherwise it'll be wasted.
8. Look good and sexy at all times - the bitches who have no problems breaking a marriage will tell you that.
9. No futsal...are you mad!!! You're as good as a lesbian if you play football, didn't your mom tell you that!!!
10. Able to produce tears with a single blink of the eye...

Well there you go....having said all I've said, there are women out there who are just total opposites, but know that they are all woman anyway...

"He who knows, and knows he knows,
He is wise - follow him"

To all the true feminine women out there, don't even doubt it!!! Let's redefine it instead.