To love and be loved in return....how now?

I was going through my CD collection, in an effort to compile most of these songs into an iPod, (yes, it’s time to move a step forward from the Dinosaur Age) when my eyes locked gaze with Nat King Cole. I was not born in the era of artists like Oscar Peterson, Nat King Cole, Duke Ellington, Ella Fitzgerald and many more, but having an uncle who was fond of playing even the National Anthem in jazz arrangement, somehow helped made me appreciate conventional jazz, even more than I do the fusion and fission version. The oldies seem to have songs with simple melody and a simpler lyric that do not offend or cause discomfort to the genital areas of some listeners. You don’t know what I mean? Well, take Pussycat Dolls songs for example. I won’t even bother to comment on the market strategy of the group name (pussy…yeah….), so let me go straight to the lyrics;

Funny how a man only thinks about the..
You got a real big heart
And he’s lookin’ at yer…
You got a real big brain
But he’s lookin’ at yer…
Girl there ain’t no pain in me lookin’ at yer..

“I don’t give a damn
keep lookin’ at maah…
cause it don’t mean a thayng if yer lookin’ at maah…
ammedo maah thayng while you’re playin’ withcha..”
(some heavy breathing HAH HAH HAH ensues…)

My pussy though, (as in my kampong cat) can co a better job with the lyrics by summarizing the whole lines to a simple “NNNGGGAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUU” that comes from deep within the gut. Now, every cat in the neighborhood understands that simple lyric to be a booty call. Pussy cat doll, my foot!!! It is a tragedy though, to the music industry, that the melody is damn catchy!! It is not amusing when you get caught singing the lyrics without you realizing you’re actually singing when your ears are stuffed with them earphones, and some guy with a big PAS turban happen to understand what you’re humming about. Hmm…maybe that is why they go around in that white jubah; to hide all possibility of erection from environmental stimulations, be it intentional or otherwise.

Now, listen to the lyrics of Nat King Cole’s “Nature Boy” and tell me they instill wisdom and love, (the kind of love where the actual head do the thinking). The main words that struck me right through the heart was, “The greatest thing, you’ll ever learn, is to love and be loved in return”.



I wish the modern lyricists would quit writing garbage mainly expressing how horny a person can feel within that 4 minutes of melody and start unraveling how is it that in this modern times, we can learn how to love and be loved in return.
I mean, I have absolutely no idea what love is anymore. On second thoughts, I do. But I don’t know how to find it, or should I just chill and let it find me…again? Can I be lucky the second time around? I’m dead sure I’m not alone in this.
In this modern life, relationship is complicated. Halt!! Let me rephrase that. Relationship is simple, but human have evolved into this complicated species, ergo complicates a simple matter such as a relationship. Then again, if we manage to complicate a grave thing like a religion, what’s complicating a relationship right? a piece of cake, no doubt.
(more on relationships, if you dare...., click below)

If anyone ever wonder why the rate of divorce had gone up since the days when Doris Day was prancing around in clothes that do not show off what her mama gave her, it’s because women have become more independent and refuse to tolerate men’s rubbish. Our mothers seem to have high tolerance rate for their men, which I think is kind of cool because women have accepted the fact that most men just grow old, but they hardly grow up, but women had since lowered their threshold of putting up with men’s nonsense, and they do not hesitate to exercise their women’s right hence the increase number of divorce cases we hear lately.

What nonsense you ask me? Some men and women mistook philandering as another adventure like back packing or traveling, but compared to men, women who are married are less likely to get involved in an extramarital affairs. We would rather imagine an extraterrestrial affair rather than an extramarital affair. Conscience no longer haunt the soul of people who took the vow in a contract called marriage, yet continue to live their lives as though they a singleton. When God encourages us to be active socially, He did not mean sexually active in society, I’m sure. But is divorce is such a taboo? Is divorce worst than say, staying miserable in a marriage? Having said that, I believe, a couple should exhaust all efforts to maintain and work things out, before they put up the white flag. After all, marriage is a vow, the decision to keep it solely ours to make. If we decide to keep a vow, we’ll do everything necessary we can to keep it, but I think if all else fails, including the sincere and tenacious effort to keep a marriage alive, perhaps divorce is a way out to staying insane.

Women have passed the age of depending solely on men. Love a man not because you need him. Need him because you love him. Since some women do not need men to be financially stable, why bother love him. That may explain women becoming choosy when it comes to tying the knot, all because she can afford to do so. After all, why bother buying a whole pig when all you need is a pound of sausage. Oh well, maybe 3 pounds. Can’t tell because sausages are evaluated by their circumference and length, the last time I checked.

As for men, they can afford to be choosy because there is 3:1 ratio of women to men today. So, instead of having to work out a marriage,on top of trying to handle the overrated mid life crisis, why bother to sweat when he can just settle for a younger meat, take a shortcut, and file for divorce. To make matters worse, current world population showed that women have outnumbered men. If you think things cannot go any more worst than that, men have decided that being cavemen is so not retro,and they’ve become confused with too many choices of women, some decided to just become gay. The ample women pool now have less men to tame, so they too, in the spirit of “if men can do it, so can we” (although no one brag about being able to pee straight from 3feet away from the source of urine) decided to become lesbians. I can grasp the concept of gay men, but what is there to rub in between two woman that is more satisfying than the conventional method? I’m just old fashion and a bigot, tell me to my face and I really could not care less.

I am old fashion when it comes to relationships. Although I personally use the Smart Tag on the road, on the contrary, I believe that “touch and go” should just be exercised on the toll, not in relationships. I don’t dig one-night stands just as I don’t dig Mawi. I’ve seen enough highly communicative people ending up in my clinic for treatment of equally highly communicable diseases. Trust me, once you experience warts in your love tool, you ain’t gonna feel that lovey dovey no more…

Where do all these life’s complication leaves us all? A little lonely I guess. Oh, even in marriage a person can still feel lonely, even though he/she is not alone in a physical sense of it. What can one say except, c’est la vie. Someone asked me why I’ve stopped dating. It’s been 9 years now since the death of my loving husband. Well, I did start dating again after 3 years of mourning for his death, but it has been one disappointment after another. If it’s not me being too good for someone, apparently I was told by them as a break up line, which for once they actually meant it,(I can’t act like a dumb blonde just to get laid can I?) or we both decided that we were better off as friends, or it’s that someone who is just an asshole. Most of the time, men gets intimidated by me. Well, I don't intend to not be myself just not to intimidate them - it kind of separates the boys from the men actually).

Either or, they all ended up with disappointments. So much so, that I’ve grown comfortable in being disappointed, I prefer not to go out on a date at all. I’ve reached my 40s and the best thing in life when a woman reaches her 40s, is that they already know what they want in life. As for me, I’ve already tasted true love. I won’t settle for less. I no longer see the need to put up with crap just so I can show the world that I have somebody in my life. A spouse is not like what a new handbag is to a woman, or a Harley Davidson is to a man with a midlife crisis. When you grow wiser, all you want is a companion and it doesn’t really have to be a person of the opposite sex, (and I do not mean this in a lesbian manner). After all, before you fell in love for the first time, your life alone before that had been happy too. Besides, everyone dies alone. If all else fails, well, there is always Prozac to help you get by those sleepless nights…(Prozac is the official companion for relationships – with or without )

I know this is rather a pessimistic and cynical view of love. Don’t be fooled by it. When true love comes, you will be left with no choice but to embrace it, trust me on this one. I’ve live and loved long enough to believe in serendipity and in destiny. That was how I met my hubby.

So for the women out there who are frantic upon being alone, well, don’t. Stop making excuses for men should they fail to call you back after that date. It’s not that they are too busy, or too confused or their fingers caught fire and could not touch that dial, it’s simply because they are not into you. No point pondering why, just carry on with life. Do not think a failed relationship is a waste of time, because it is in failure that you learn and become wiser. You are what you are today because of what you learn in life before this. Have faith and your wishes will flower. Someday somehow some way…true love will come knocking on your door…..and you’d be surprised that you are happy that there is no other door that have the word “EXIT” on it..

Ummmm......., I think someone ought to gently break to her the bad news..


err..there is no such person as the perfect man/woman...it's the perfect for each other we should be looking for...