Ask me. Go ahead. "Who are the easiest men to get in KL?". At spinal level, most singleton like me would answer,"the married men". Honestly, I just don't get it. What is it about unavailable men and single women? Wait, let me rephrase that, "unavailable men and women, single or not.".
Greed? Escapism? Horny? Men are horny most of the time. That cannot be just it. They are so horny, their dicks are called ''the other head", because after some time, "the other head" will take over "the actual head" in decision making. When the other head over rules the actual head, there will be headaches for everyone else around him. No? Explain Anna Nicole Smith to me. See. I rest my case .
I learn that being a widow, there are many men, but especially unavailable malay men, who felt obliged to come save me. Save me from what, I still cannot figure that one out, considering my pay is double,probably tripple theirs. If not, I am self sufficient. I need empathy, not charity, thank you. Save me from opportunistic men? Well, then stop calling me after 10pm then. Save me from thieves in the middle of the night? I've got my alarm system set up, thank you. If saving me means making me the second or third wife,or mistress, again, thank you but I'd rather be alone, than at a threat of a raging 1st wife. Now that is dangerous and need saving from.
I just don't get women who get involve with married men. What are they thinking? Or perhaps it is the contrary, that they are not thinking. What do you stand or hope to achieve? That he's going to leave his wife for you because after 20 years, and after meeting you, he suddenly wake up one fine morning, with his wife still beside him in bed, and realizes that you are the one for him and that his wife is not. Then how do you explain the 4 kids he is sharing with the wife? Are they mistakes too?
What makes you so sure that he won't turn a fickle mind on you, 20 years after he left his first wife, and married you and find another woman who he finally think is his actual soul mate, most likely 10 to 20years younger than you? He did it once, he can always change his mind again. After all, it's just his mind. If it is really soul mates these men are searching for, how come they hardly, by statistics, found it in older women with boobs that had given up the long time battle with gravity?
Relationships, that go the distance, comprises of pillars such as trust, respect, love, understanding. How can one build a relationship when the first grounds laid is flaky. Trust. How can a woman trust a man who have had the history of cheating on his wife, with you? You know he cannot be trusted. You will always, at the back of your mind know, even you you do not show it, that he cannot be trusted.
Of course there are unavailable men out there who prey on vulnarable women, not revealing their marital status until the woman is way in too deep into the emotional aspect of the relationship. Still, ask yourselves, was that love based on something pure, or lies? The next step is more difficult to do and that would be overcoming yourself to do the most decent thing any woman could do, when she finds out the man had lied to her, no matter what bull shit excuse he gave her, and that is to walk out of the whole thing before more destruction is done.
I was married once upon a time. My late hubby experience some midlife crisis and had an affair with another woman. I had my suspicion but it was only after he died, when I went through his possessions, that I found the evidence. My only regret at the time, was, he died from a tragic accident earlier, and I was deprived of the opportunity to strangle him with my own bare hands..But during the time we were squabling about "the other woman", he told me straight on my face, "no matter what happens, I love you and I will never leave you". It's not even a matter of believing him, I knew he meant it.
Two things;
1. A man may be playing around for whatever reasons or excuses imaginable, but when they have to choose, will seldom leave their family for the other woman. Even more so for those who have to suffer financially, should there be a divorce. If they do, it just goes to prove he is unworthy and hardly a trophy to whoever it is that have "won" him.
2. I know exactly how painful it is to know that your husband is having an affair with another woman. I could still recall the chest tightness, the difficulty in breathing and the spinning of the world around me as the axis, when I first found out. I cannot inflict the same torture to any other woman. Perhaps that is where I got my empathy, and hitherto, despite being single again for quite some time, have made it a rule of thumb, not to even consider going out with a married man.
The first thing I'd ask a man when he asks me out on a date would be, "are you married". The standard answer so far has been, "yes, but errr.....". In my mind, the "err..." is not my problem and I shall not make it my problem. Settle your "err" and come back see me say 4 years after you've gotten over your "err". Because, ladies, "err" of a married man is as good as "no praabbllleeem" of some of the Indians in India. It's a synonym to "yes, problems".
So ladies, listen to your mamas when they say, "you don't go and break people's marriage and get involve with a married man". Remember, mom knows best. Getting involved with married men is pointless, unless you're as desperate..
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