Some of us women have our moments when sex seem as distasteful as having a pap smear done. Your body is tired from the office work followed by the house work the moment you enter home. The last thing you have on your mind would be working overtime in bed. Ran out of excuses?
It's the millenium for god's sakes, be a little creative. Men nor women no longer buy the "sorry dear, I have a headache" excuse because you may get an aspirin shoved into your throat and still have to oblige as soon as the aspirin, according to the drug prescription pamphlet, kicks off to work. Here's some creative ideas for excuses:
1. "I went to the doctor today for this vaginal discharge problem I've been having and it's itchy. Doctor had given me vaginal tablets for insertion and she told me not to have sex for one week, at least."
2. Just as you sense that your partner is about to get horny, start a topic beginning with, "My mom called just now.....", then create something that you know will cause him transient impotence, like your mom is planning to stay over longer this time around.
3. Just as you sense that your partner is about to get horny, inform him that he's got a letter from income tax department.
4. Or if you reaaaaally don't feel like having sex for a long time, just tell him,"I went to the doctor this morning. Apparently my menses turned out to be a threatened abortion and we should practice abstinence for at least 2-3 weeks."
5. "I have this mastication muscle spasm and I can't seem to control the clenching of my teeth when I'm excited. Doctor gave me muscle relaxant, and it's going to knock me out apparently. It's still risky for you even if I don't take the medication. We don't want both of us ending up in the Acute and Emergency Department do we? "
There may be some truth in the saying,
"A newly wed woman is an artist at home, an economist in kitchen, and a devil in bed. After some time, they become a devil at home, an artist in the kitchen and an economist in bed."
Click here if you have the passion and patience to read more!!...
Well, I feel young, does that count?
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Saturday, February 16, 2008
No Sex? and the City
I just don't get it. What's the big hoo haa just talking about sex? You don't need licence for that do you? You definitely cannot get pregnant just talking about it? (Unless you're a member of PAS and actually believe that immaculate pregnancy can occur just by queing up together, men and women). Not talking about it is not going to decrease its practice, legal or illegally. It's human nature to want to do something that is prohibited unto them. It instigates curiosity of whether they can get away with it. No? Well, then, perhaps it's just me then. But hey, I'm one happy woman.
Sex, whether it is talked about openly or behind doors, will continue to play an important role in human lives. It is a known fact that prostitution is one of the oldest job since the beginning of mankind. Sorry, I rephrase that. I don't think Adam had any other women around to start any philandering activities, nor was he likely to do so. (but then again there was that incident with Eve that got them into trouble and out unto earth...). Perhaps it is more appropriate to say, that it is the oldest occupation since the beginning of civilization.
What's the oldest job you ask me? Politicians of course. Why do you think this world is so screwed up? They were here on Day One, well, almost. Come to think of it, corrupted politicians and prostitutes have one thing in common- they screw people for money, but that is another story. (one that would lead me into ISA if I go on about it)
Back to talking about sex ( yes, I know you like it when I talk dirty...), people find it uncomfortable to talk freely regarding sex, especially men, when they cannot rise to the occasion, for example. It's funny because, that is the exact time when they should be talking about it because keeping quiet is not going to get them anywhere.I'm sure men don't find it funny, try having a gun that wouldn't unload when you desperately need to.
So what, if your gadget of fertility could not perform, one maybe four times in a row. It's normal for a man to experience impotence at least once in his life time. It's a transient matter, of which it's longevity ( I'm talking in reference of time here..not the gadget) depends upon when the unfortunate man with the temporarily out of service love machine, decides to come clean with the problem and finally solve it. Finally, if all else fails, there's always the viagra. For those of you who still think I am talking about Lang Lang's piano performance on the Rachmaninov's piece, or Paladin in "Have gun will travel", helloooo!! Wake up!! You can't be that naive!!
I once had this conversation with my colleage and somehow, we ended up talking about .....syyyy.......sex. She commented something that left me ....I can't think of a term to describe my sentiment at the time, but I remember my mouth was agap, long enough for a spider to knit a web unto it. From what I gathered from her comment, she had sex with her husband only in one position, husband on top, anything else would be making her feel like a nymphomaniac. Then again, you can't blame her, she was born a malay and most malay women are brought up to let their men stay on top.
Hello!! If God had intended sex to be performed only via one position, why on earth create human's joints to accomodate flexibility??!! It's no wonder why most married malay men, ended up marrying at least another one, if they can't fill up the quota of four!! (trust me, it's every men's secret dream to have a harem of women, legally or illegally. They won't tell you that of course). These men were probably insiduosly looking for sexual satisfaction, which obviously one position cannot provide!! And since it is wrong in Islam to "testdrive" in bed, what the heck, they'll just legalize it by marrying other women. There you go, the reason behind the popular sunnah unveiled.
I know marriage is not all about sex. It's something like money. Money isn't everything, but it does help improve bargaining position...Trust me, if men or less likely women do not get a reasonably satisfying sex, they still will manage to keep a good marriage, by fucking some other woman on the side, quietly. You're not a philanderer until you get caught with your panties down, unless you are not the type to wear panties. Women however, can be amazingly loyal to their spouse. Some even have never experienced how an orgasm felt like, yet, they were fine about it. Well, you won't know what you're missing until you know.
You think that was shocking? Well, let me tell you another story. It's so shocking, this time my jaw instantly gave up it's fight with gravity, and I was never the same after that. The couple had been married for nearly 8 years now and they still haven't had sex!!! The reason how I found out was because she told me she could not do a pap smear.
I remember when she first ask me for help, I was so shocked, I remember uttering,"if you need me to give you advice on how to give someone the blowjob of a lifetime, I may be able to help you, but this, for the first time in my life, I am speechless". I was, in all honesty. But I did try to help by arranging for them, professional counselling. I am still hitherto, waiting for that call from my friend who will someday say what may seem like magic words to me, "Help me. We had this rough sex and now I have a condom stuck in my vagina and it would'nt come out"...anything as ridiculous, so long as I know their problem is regarding sex, not deprivation of it..Otherwise, should the therapy fail, she should just quietly go ahead with the pap smear, and at least would not suffer future embarassment of claiming to be a virgin after 8 years of marriage. It is however, a little sad, when she reflects back at her life only to remember how that cold vaginal speculum, of the smallest size, had broke her virginity.
I can't really laugh at her situation, however, because I use to be the joke of the campus, you know, when people are laughing at you, not with you? At then, 23years of age, I was a product of "hush hush sex", and by that , I do not mean I am an illegitimate child of sort, rather, just ignorant about sex altogether. That ignorance was hardly bliss. I remember Iwas reading this book and I sighed, saying,"I have to read this in and out". My then, boy friend, smiled wickedly and started teasing me," in and out, in and out". I looked at him disgusted, and said," In Islam, you can only penetrate once. Then you have to mandi junub." (I realized later, you are suppose to only have sex once, and have to bathe before restarting another session...not my fault the ustazah sounded ambigous back then). I had the cheek to argue about the matter, because I hate loosing any argument.
He in turn looked at me as if i was from Kingdom Far Far Away, and did not say anything for good 10seconds, then with that expression that cannot describe, but remember until today replied back, "Do you know that the penis have to go in and out of a vagina before achieving orgasm?". He then explained to me how sex is performed, and I sat there beside him in the library ( how boring can my life be) and finally learned from my boyfriend, how people actually have sex. And to add insult to injury, he rest his case by saying smugly and cheekily, "Celup sekali je, tak jadi apa, jadi tapai je laaaa"..It's not what he had said, rather the way he said it made me blush everytime I recall it.
I can imagine therefore, young girls who are naive yet desperately want to oblige their boy friends, ended up getting pregnant.
Sex is just a natural human need. How we handle it is totally up to us. There is nothing dirty about it, unless it is forced unto an unwilling partner, or err..sheep for example. We human need sex to regulate our hormones and hence become healthier. You know when your boss is being bitchy in the office because she was not getting any the night before, if you catch my drift. It's a mood elevator as well, works better than prozac I dare say. Tell me how much calories one burns sex-ercising?
I am not going to touch the religious aspect of it, you leave it up to the ulamaks, you'll never be able to experience a fellatio without having an image of you burning in hell just before orgasm. But apart from that, I think sex should practice in a healthy manner, medically and ethically. Talking about it certainly helps increasing our knowlege and the practice of sex itself. Look what I've learned since my "one dip orgasm theory" !!
Click here if you have the passion and patience to read more!!...
Sex, whether it is talked about openly or behind doors, will continue to play an important role in human lives. It is a known fact that prostitution is one of the oldest job since the beginning of mankind. Sorry, I rephrase that. I don't think Adam had any other women around to start any philandering activities, nor was he likely to do so. (but then again there was that incident with Eve that got them into trouble and out unto earth...). Perhaps it is more appropriate to say, that it is the oldest occupation since the beginning of civilization.
What's the oldest job you ask me? Politicians of course. Why do you think this world is so screwed up? They were here on Day One, well, almost. Come to think of it, corrupted politicians and prostitutes have one thing in common- they screw people for money, but that is another story. (one that would lead me into ISA if I go on about it)
Back to talking about sex ( yes, I know you like it when I talk dirty...), people find it uncomfortable to talk freely regarding sex, especially men, when they cannot rise to the occasion, for example. It's funny because, that is the exact time when they should be talking about it because keeping quiet is not going to get them anywhere.I'm sure men don't find it funny, try having a gun that wouldn't unload when you desperately need to.
So what, if your gadget of fertility could not perform, one maybe four times in a row. It's normal for a man to experience impotence at least once in his life time. It's a transient matter, of which it's longevity ( I'm talking in reference of time here..not the gadget) depends upon when the unfortunate man with the temporarily out of service love machine, decides to come clean with the problem and finally solve it. Finally, if all else fails, there's always the viagra. For those of you who still think I am talking about Lang Lang's piano performance on the Rachmaninov's piece, or Paladin in "Have gun will travel", helloooo!! Wake up!! You can't be that naive!!
I once had this conversation with my colleage and somehow, we ended up talking about .....syyyy.......sex. She commented something that left me ....I can't think of a term to describe my sentiment at the time, but I remember my mouth was agap, long enough for a spider to knit a web unto it. From what I gathered from her comment, she had sex with her husband only in one position, husband on top, anything else would be making her feel like a nymphomaniac. Then again, you can't blame her, she was born a malay and most malay women are brought up to let their men stay on top.
Hello!! If God had intended sex to be performed only via one position, why on earth create human's joints to accomodate flexibility??!! It's no wonder why most married malay men, ended up marrying at least another one, if they can't fill up the quota of four!! (trust me, it's every men's secret dream to have a harem of women, legally or illegally. They won't tell you that of course). These men were probably insiduosly looking for sexual satisfaction, which obviously one position cannot provide!! And since it is wrong in Islam to "testdrive" in bed, what the heck, they'll just legalize it by marrying other women. There you go, the reason behind the popular sunnah unveiled.
I know marriage is not all about sex. It's something like money. Money isn't everything, but it does help improve bargaining position...Trust me, if men or less likely women do not get a reasonably satisfying sex, they still will manage to keep a good marriage, by fucking some other woman on the side, quietly. You're not a philanderer until you get caught with your panties down, unless you are not the type to wear panties. Women however, can be amazingly loyal to their spouse. Some even have never experienced how an orgasm felt like, yet, they were fine about it. Well, you won't know what you're missing until you know.
You think that was shocking? Well, let me tell you another story. It's so shocking, this time my jaw instantly gave up it's fight with gravity, and I was never the same after that. The couple had been married for nearly 8 years now and they still haven't had sex!!! The reason how I found out was because she told me she could not do a pap smear.
I remember when she first ask me for help, I was so shocked, I remember uttering,"if you need me to give you advice on how to give someone the blowjob of a lifetime, I may be able to help you, but this, for the first time in my life, I am speechless". I was, in all honesty. But I did try to help by arranging for them, professional counselling. I am still hitherto, waiting for that call from my friend who will someday say what may seem like magic words to me, "Help me. We had this rough sex and now I have a condom stuck in my vagina and it would'nt come out"...anything as ridiculous, so long as I know their problem is regarding sex, not deprivation of it..Otherwise, should the therapy fail, she should just quietly go ahead with the pap smear, and at least would not suffer future embarassment of claiming to be a virgin after 8 years of marriage. It is however, a little sad, when she reflects back at her life only to remember how that cold vaginal speculum, of the smallest size, had broke her virginity.
I can't really laugh at her situation, however, because I use to be the joke of the campus, you know, when people are laughing at you, not with you? At then, 23years of age, I was a product of "hush hush sex", and by that , I do not mean I am an illegitimate child of sort, rather, just ignorant about sex altogether. That ignorance was hardly bliss. I remember Iwas reading this book and I sighed, saying,"I have to read this in and out". My then, boy friend, smiled wickedly and started teasing me," in and out, in and out". I looked at him disgusted, and said," In Islam, you can only penetrate once. Then you have to mandi junub." (I realized later, you are suppose to only have sex once, and have to bathe before restarting another session...not my fault the ustazah sounded ambigous back then). I had the cheek to argue about the matter, because I hate loosing any argument.
He in turn looked at me as if i was from Kingdom Far Far Away, and did not say anything for good 10seconds, then with that expression that cannot describe, but remember until today replied back, "Do you know that the penis have to go in and out of a vagina before achieving orgasm?". He then explained to me how sex is performed, and I sat there beside him in the library ( how boring can my life be) and finally learned from my boyfriend, how people actually have sex. And to add insult to injury, he rest his case by saying smugly and cheekily, "Celup sekali je, tak jadi apa, jadi tapai je laaaa"..It's not what he had said, rather the way he said it made me blush everytime I recall it.
I can imagine therefore, young girls who are naive yet desperately want to oblige their boy friends, ended up getting pregnant.
Sex is just a natural human need. How we handle it is totally up to us. There is nothing dirty about it, unless it is forced unto an unwilling partner, or err..sheep for example. We human need sex to regulate our hormones and hence become healthier. You know when your boss is being bitchy in the office because she was not getting any the night before, if you catch my drift. It's a mood elevator as well, works better than prozac I dare say. Tell me how much calories one burns sex-ercising?
I am not going to touch the religious aspect of it, you leave it up to the ulamaks, you'll never be able to experience a fellatio without having an image of you burning in hell just before orgasm. But apart from that, I think sex should practice in a healthy manner, medically and ethically. Talking about it certainly helps increasing our knowlege and the practice of sex itself. Look what I've learned since my "one dip orgasm theory" !!
Click here if you have the passion and patience to read more!!...
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Happy Valentine's Day??
Damn! It's that time of the year again...It's Valentine's Day. Rats!! It's a fantastic time for those who have someone to flaunt their affection with. But for a singleton like me...hmmm...it's a day that nudges me in the ribs to say smugly, "you are alone still, while the rest of the world is celebrating.". Well, I am celibating, if you can just ignore the absence of the letter "r" and stop poking me with the fact that I am without the love of my life?!!
Come to think of it, Valentine's Day become suddenly meaningful to me, not because it's meaningful per se, rather because it didn't use to be special, when I was with someone and the same day turn out to be annoyingly significant when I am single again. In fact, we, my hubby and me, never bothered acknowleging Valentine's Day as we could not really work out what it means. I mean, when you're in love, everyday is valentine's day. You don't need to have one day you declare to be special and go all out to get roses that will cost three fold its normal price just to prove your love.
It was one of those ordinary day, when my hubby came up to me one and presented me with what he claimed to be "the most unique flower on earth that no one could ever thought of presenting to their loved ones". I was overjoyed with his words (then again he could describe hell in such a manner that it made me look forward to go to hell...no, he was not a diplomat), adoringly sniffed the bunga kantan wrapped in beautiful wrapping paper and gave him one of that kiss that was potentially lethal and contradicting family planning.
Valentine's Day is like a day to more like reiterate rather than remind the singletons that they are singletons. I am reminded everytime I turn on the TV or radio. It makes you want to find that cupid and slap it stupid.
It's a day when it means nothing until it means something. It's like playing tennis, you always have something to complain about your tennis mate, until you end up playing with the wall. Dang!!
Ah well. Happy Valentine's Day to the people who are lucky enough to qualify to celebrate it. And for those of you singletons out there, remember how Valentine's Day use to not mean anything when you had that special someone. That will at least get you through tomorrow. But for those of you, who are singleton, and Valentine's Day use to mean everything....oh, stop whining and grow up!! Otherwise, get drunk or sedated. It's only until tomorrow when the whole world will shut up about it...Thank God Valentine's Day is not like fasting month, and that it's just one day.......
Click here if you have the passion and patience to read more!!...
Come to think of it, Valentine's Day become suddenly meaningful to me, not because it's meaningful per se, rather because it didn't use to be special, when I was with someone and the same day turn out to be annoyingly significant when I am single again. In fact, we, my hubby and me, never bothered acknowleging Valentine's Day as we could not really work out what it means. I mean, when you're in love, everyday is valentine's day. You don't need to have one day you declare to be special and go all out to get roses that will cost three fold its normal price just to prove your love.
It was one of those ordinary day, when my hubby came up to me one and presented me with what he claimed to be "the most unique flower on earth that no one could ever thought of presenting to their loved ones". I was overjoyed with his words (then again he could describe hell in such a manner that it made me look forward to go to hell...no, he was not a diplomat), adoringly sniffed the bunga kantan wrapped in beautiful wrapping paper and gave him one of that kiss that was potentially lethal and contradicting family planning.
Valentine's Day is like a day to more like reiterate rather than remind the singletons that they are singletons. I am reminded everytime I turn on the TV or radio. It makes you want to find that cupid and slap it stupid.
It's a day when it means nothing until it means something. It's like playing tennis, you always have something to complain about your tennis mate, until you end up playing with the wall. Dang!!
Ah well. Happy Valentine's Day to the people who are lucky enough to qualify to celebrate it. And for those of you singletons out there, remember how Valentine's Day use to not mean anything when you had that special someone. That will at least get you through tomorrow. But for those of you, who are singleton, and Valentine's Day use to mean everything....oh, stop whining and grow up!! Otherwise, get drunk or sedated. It's only until tomorrow when the whole world will shut up about it...Thank God Valentine's Day is not like fasting month, and that it's just one day.......
Click here if you have the passion and patience to read more!!...
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
So how now?
Okay. I do not date married men, full stop. (for God's and our sakes, please read the article prior to this if you need to decipher what I'm about to babble about). Now that I've proven that I have some portion of principals, when it comes to relationships, where does that leave me? What do people like me do now? I can imagine how Patrick Teoh in his blog "Niamah" would put it, "So, how now?"
I'm in my forties, and most men my age group are married. It doesn't help that there is a shortage of men in Malaysia. Why I say there is a shortage of men, is because, statistics show that there are more women than men of my age or anywhere 5 years plus minus. To make matters worse, probably a quarter of this extincting males species are gays. Just what we women need. Gender confused homo sapiens... And by gay I don't mean "happy", please keep up with the time people. The rest are either ;
A) happily married
B) not so happily married and looking for escapism and blame it on the hormones then call it a midlife crisis,
C) married but desperately wanting to be single again but don't have the balls to do anything about it or even if they do have the balls, cannot afford a divorce,
D) unmarried but have "internal problems" hindering them from sustaining any relationship,
E)unmarried but have "external problems" hindering them from sustaining any relationship...
F) unmarried and they are the problem
My, my. The list seem to go on, it's no wonder there are women who take matters into their own hands (well, women have long benefited from the women's liberation movements and are learning to DIY, just like men, and of course, it is the age of technology you know....) or just settle by way of nature, and become lesbians. It is known that nature has it's ways of "sorting things out" as evidenced by some fish species that are capable of changing gender when situations require them to do so. They give "go fuck yourself" a more meaningful term I guess.
How do I go about this matter? Well, I settled it by being truely muhibbah and open minded. I started dating men younger than me regardless of race or beliefs, I do not really fancy dating too old a man, even if they are sinfully rich, because, I know this sounds unfair, but I would like to marry someone someday who I do not have to get up in the middle of the night, wondering whether had he stopped snoring because medical science had cured him, or whether he had passed on. At least with younger men, my only worry is not sleeping with a corpse without even realising it, but instead, the sleepwalking some men do to the maid's room. Besides, it's a bit risky when you get involved with old men taking viagra. You may not be able to differentiate between a scream of pleasure, or a scream for help from a cardiac arrest!!
Well, at least that was what I used to do, dated men. Nowadays, I've grown jaded of the dating scene and have decided to just let destiny try fiddle it's fingers on my life. See where this leads me. Why I am jaded, well, stay tuned to my writings. You'd probably learn something out of my experience, I hope.
It is true what they say about love. The miracle of love is to love and be loved in returned. It happened to me once, who knows, true love may find me the second time around. All I've got to do in the meantime,is to fiddle my G-spot occasionally, just to remind me it's still functioning and to keep the motor running just in case, sometime in the future, I may need to reactivate it. I hope I won't grow tired of technology, just like Justin Timberlake in his song.. I may be transiently out of the dating scene, and sleeping soundly without a hubby snoring into my brains, but I am strangely, contented. I am alone again, naturally. But for now, I'm not hopeless, just hopeful.......
Click here if you have the passion and patience to read more!!...
I'm in my forties, and most men my age group are married. It doesn't help that there is a shortage of men in Malaysia. Why I say there is a shortage of men, is because, statistics show that there are more women than men of my age or anywhere 5 years plus minus. To make matters worse, probably a quarter of this extincting males species are gays. Just what we women need. Gender confused homo sapiens... And by gay I don't mean "happy", please keep up with the time people. The rest are either ;
A) happily married
B) not so happily married and looking for escapism and blame it on the hormones then call it a midlife crisis,
C) married but desperately wanting to be single again but don't have the balls to do anything about it or even if they do have the balls, cannot afford a divorce,
D) unmarried but have "internal problems" hindering them from sustaining any relationship,
E)unmarried but have "external problems" hindering them from sustaining any relationship...
F) unmarried and they are the problem
My, my. The list seem to go on, it's no wonder there are women who take matters into their own hands (well, women have long benefited from the women's liberation movements and are learning to DIY, just like men, and of course, it is the age of technology you know....) or just settle by way of nature, and become lesbians. It is known that nature has it's ways of "sorting things out" as evidenced by some fish species that are capable of changing gender when situations require them to do so. They give "go fuck yourself" a more meaningful term I guess.
How do I go about this matter? Well, I settled it by being truely muhibbah and open minded. I started dating men younger than me regardless of race or beliefs, I do not really fancy dating too old a man, even if they are sinfully rich, because, I know this sounds unfair, but I would like to marry someone someday who I do not have to get up in the middle of the night, wondering whether had he stopped snoring because medical science had cured him, or whether he had passed on. At least with younger men, my only worry is not sleeping with a corpse without even realising it, but instead, the sleepwalking some men do to the maid's room. Besides, it's a bit risky when you get involved with old men taking viagra. You may not be able to differentiate between a scream of pleasure, or a scream for help from a cardiac arrest!!
Well, at least that was what I used to do, dated men. Nowadays, I've grown jaded of the dating scene and have decided to just let destiny try fiddle it's fingers on my life. See where this leads me. Why I am jaded, well, stay tuned to my writings. You'd probably learn something out of my experience, I hope.
It is true what they say about love. The miracle of love is to love and be loved in returned. It happened to me once, who knows, true love may find me the second time around. All I've got to do in the meantime,is to fiddle my G-spot occasionally, just to remind me it's still functioning and to keep the motor running just in case, sometime in the future, I may need to reactivate it. I hope I won't grow tired of technology, just like Justin Timberlake in his song.. I may be transiently out of the dating scene, and sleeping soundly without a hubby snoring into my brains, but I am strangely, contented. I am alone again, naturally. But for now, I'm not hopeless, just hopeful.......
Click here if you have the passion and patience to read more!!...
Saturday, January 19, 2008
I am damsel in distress, but please don't save me...
Ask me. Go ahead. "Who are the easiest men to get in KL?". At spinal level, most singleton like me would answer,"the married men". Honestly, I just don't get it. What is it about unavailable men and single women? Wait, let me rephrase that, "unavailable men and women, single or not.".
Greed? Escapism? Horny? Men are horny most of the time. That cannot be just it. They are so horny, their dicks are called ''the other head", because after some time, "the other head" will take over "the actual head" in decision making. When the other head over rules the actual head, there will be headaches for everyone else around him. No? Explain Anna Nicole Smith to me. See. I rest my case .
I learn that being a widow, there are many men, but especially unavailable malay men, who felt obliged to come save me. Save me from what, I still cannot figure that one out, considering my pay is double,probably tripple theirs. If not, I am self sufficient. I need empathy, not charity, thank you. Save me from opportunistic men? Well, then stop calling me after 10pm then. Save me from thieves in the middle of the night? I've got my alarm system set up, thank you. If saving me means making me the second or third wife,or mistress, again, thank you but I'd rather be alone, than at a threat of a raging 1st wife. Now that is dangerous and need saving from.
I just don't get women who get involve with married men. What are they thinking? Or perhaps it is the contrary, that they are not thinking. What do you stand or hope to achieve? That he's going to leave his wife for you because after 20 years, and after meeting you, he suddenly wake up one fine morning, with his wife still beside him in bed, and realizes that you are the one for him and that his wife is not. Then how do you explain the 4 kids he is sharing with the wife? Are they mistakes too?
What makes you so sure that he won't turn a fickle mind on you, 20 years after he left his first wife, and married you and find another woman who he finally think is his actual soul mate, most likely 10 to 20years younger than you? He did it once, he can always change his mind again. After all, it's just his mind. If it is really soul mates these men are searching for, how come they hardly, by statistics, found it in older women with boobs that had given up the long time battle with gravity?
Click here if you have the passion and patience to read more!!...
Greed? Escapism? Horny? Men are horny most of the time. That cannot be just it. They are so horny, their dicks are called ''the other head", because after some time, "the other head" will take over "the actual head" in decision making. When the other head over rules the actual head, there will be headaches for everyone else around him. No? Explain Anna Nicole Smith to me. See. I rest my case .
I learn that being a widow, there are many men, but especially unavailable malay men, who felt obliged to come save me. Save me from what, I still cannot figure that one out, considering my pay is double,probably tripple theirs. If not, I am self sufficient. I need empathy, not charity, thank you. Save me from opportunistic men? Well, then stop calling me after 10pm then. Save me from thieves in the middle of the night? I've got my alarm system set up, thank you. If saving me means making me the second or third wife,or mistress, again, thank you but I'd rather be alone, than at a threat of a raging 1st wife. Now that is dangerous and need saving from.
I just don't get women who get involve with married men. What are they thinking? Or perhaps it is the contrary, that they are not thinking. What do you stand or hope to achieve? That he's going to leave his wife for you because after 20 years, and after meeting you, he suddenly wake up one fine morning, with his wife still beside him in bed, and realizes that you are the one for him and that his wife is not. Then how do you explain the 4 kids he is sharing with the wife? Are they mistakes too?
What makes you so sure that he won't turn a fickle mind on you, 20 years after he left his first wife, and married you and find another woman who he finally think is his actual soul mate, most likely 10 to 20years younger than you? He did it once, he can always change his mind again. After all, it's just his mind. If it is really soul mates these men are searching for, how come they hardly, by statistics, found it in older women with boobs that had given up the long time battle with gravity?
Relationships, that go the distance, comprises of pillars such as trust, respect, love, understanding. How can one build a relationship when the first grounds laid is flaky. Trust. How can a woman trust a man who have had the history of cheating on his wife, with you? You know he cannot be trusted. You will always, at the back of your mind know, even you you do not show it, that he cannot be trusted.
Of course there are unavailable men out there who prey on vulnarable women, not revealing their marital status until the woman is way in too deep into the emotional aspect of the relationship. Still, ask yourselves, was that love based on something pure, or lies? The next step is more difficult to do and that would be overcoming yourself to do the most decent thing any woman could do, when she finds out the man had lied to her, no matter what bull shit excuse he gave her, and that is to walk out of the whole thing before more destruction is done.
I was married once upon a time. My late hubby experience some midlife crisis and had an affair with another woman. I had my suspicion but it was only after he died, when I went through his possessions, that I found the evidence. My only regret at the time, was, he died from a tragic accident earlier, and I was deprived of the opportunity to strangle him with my own bare hands..But during the time we were squabling about "the other woman", he told me straight on my face, "no matter what happens, I love you and I will never leave you". It's not even a matter of believing him, I knew he meant it.
Two things;
1. A man may be playing around for whatever reasons or excuses imaginable, but when they have to choose, will seldom leave their family for the other woman. Even more so for those who have to suffer financially, should there be a divorce. If they do, it just goes to prove he is unworthy and hardly a trophy to whoever it is that have "won" him.
2. I know exactly how painful it is to know that your husband is having an affair with another woman. I could still recall the chest tightness, the difficulty in breathing and the spinning of the world around me as the axis, when I first found out. I cannot inflict the same torture to any other woman. Perhaps that is where I got my empathy, and hitherto, despite being single again for quite some time, have made it a rule of thumb, not to even consider going out with a married man.
The first thing I'd ask a man when he asks me out on a date would be, "are you married". The standard answer so far has been, "yes, but errr.....". In my mind, the "err..." is not my problem and I shall not make it my problem. Settle your "err" and come back see me say 4 years after you've gotten over your "err". Because, ladies, "err" of a married man is as good as "no praabbllleeem" of some of the Indians in India. It's a synonym to "yes, problems".
So ladies, listen to your mamas when they say, "you don't go and break people's marriage and get involve with a married man". Remember, mom knows best. Getting involved with married men is pointless, unless you're as desperate..
Click here if you have the passion and patience to read more!!...
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Alone again, naturally....
I am a widow. I hated every minute of it. It's been 7years, 4months, 26days and 12hours since my late hubby passed away in a tragic accident. Or was it 22days? Then again, who's keeping track. I guess that is why they call it "tragic". It's tragic to the people involved in the accident, even more so tragic to the widows, orphans, families and friends they left behind, emotionally. As for the widow, it is quite an adaptation. One day you are someone's wife, the next day, you are a widow.
Looking back, I cannot decide which situation I hated most. The fact that I am suddenly left alone without my soul mate, or the fact that society made it harder on me to be comfortable being alone. I am talking in context of Malaysian scenario. I think it is easier to pick up the pieces and rebuild your life in the sense of getting another partner in life, if you are a Westerner, rather if you are an Asian, comparatively ,I think. And they say divorcees suffer society's ridicule even more so. Widow's gets more sympathy because "it is not their fault that they are seperated". Then again, I have trouble comprehending why divorce is anyone's fault.
You know what I hate most about being single again? You go to a kenduri and people start asking you the famous question," bila nak cari ganti"? (when are you remarrying again?). Everytime someone ask me that question, I cringe inside, and I always hope first and foremost, that she (normally it is the she rather than the he) does not have the capability of reading my mind, or reading my facial expression. Because if she could, she will get this answer," Oh, it is so easy to replace a husband nowadays. All you got to do is wreck someone's marriage, by becoming the, well, at least 2nd wife, or the much less hypocritical non muslim men, their mistress. Or perhaps just get married for the heck of getting married, and settle with loosers, or emotionally unstable recycled men(now, stay tuned for this topic sometime soon) , workaholics, commitment phobics, gay men looking for camourflage marriage, straight men who have sexual dysfunction or whatever it is that make them loose their self confidence, etc...etc.....". But to avoid being rude and wrecking the harmony of someone's party, the standard answer would be,"tak de jodoh lagi". ( No calling yet ).
Having survived and acquired to skill to handle "the question", I slowly realized, that being single again, isn't that bad after all. For starters, I no longer have to put up with that dreadful snore. I bet no one dare say this, but in actual truth, when you work at odd hours and is deprived of precious sleep, the sound of snore may trigger transient insanity so much so, there will be moments when you actually look at the source of that annoying sound, wondering where all that love had gone to, in the dim light, thinking, for just that brief moment, again thinking, will you be able to get away with smouldering a pillow over that source of intolerable decibel by pleading temporary insanity in the court of law.
After all, there was a case in Holland whereby a wife got away with murdering the husband based on transient insanity due to PMS ( that's pre menstrual stress for those who obviously do not suffer from the PMS to not have know what the abbreviation means, or suffer being around insufferable women who suffer the PMS).
Just when I was about to get into comfy zone with being single in society, then shit would normally happen. I will be reminded, that single women are seen by most married women as "weapon of mass destruction". I remember an incident at the club, whereby a lady was very taken in with my daughter and wants her daughter to spend more time together when they are at the club. She kept contacting me to make sure arrangements were made for these two girls to be in the same tennis classes etc.. ( Maybe she thought her daughter may be more like mine . Daaaaaahling...you only catch the flu, not people's contagious personalities and intelligence. That's what one acquires...). I remember her asking about my husband at some point of our brief encounter. It was when she learned that I am a widow, that her call stopped coming.
But what goes around comes around I guess. One fine day, I attended a function and walla, somehow, I ended up sitting beside , guess who? Not the lady with the no-personality-gene to pass down to her daughter, but , walla!! her husband!!! I took one look at him and wondered, in all honesty, what was the reason for her insecurities?? There is a God that night however. I came with a drop dead georgeous date. It really helped that my date was a male. Somehow rather, her phone calls returned. I decided to let it ring, simply because I had a very nice ring tone and I enjoyed listening to it, before dunking her when I changed to a new number.
What is it about not all, but many married women and their insecurities? I agree that there are some women out there who'd stop at nothing to get a husband. Some find it challenging to get someone else's. These women normally look for rich and successful men. After all, if you want to go through all that trouble wrecking up a marriage, might as well make it worthwhile right? Otherwise, it cannot be love, because love is not about demanding, it's about giving. You cannot destroy a marriage, and trust a man who leaves his wife for another women, because, you of all people will know, that he may repeat that habit when he's married to you. The distrust will always be at the back of your mind. What kind of a relationship is built on distrust? Think about it.
But not all single women do that. There are decent singletons who awaits for recycled men to come clean with their problems, and start a new relationship. Unfortunately, or fortunately, however you choose to see it, in Asean setting, marriage is considered to be sacred. It's good, in a way because both husband and wife will give their all in a marriage. But people change, and grow through time. It is the law of the universe, that nothing stays stagnant. It is the ability of a couple to adapt to these changes that will ascertain the longevity of a marriage/relationship, whether it will go the distance. This requires a lot of love, trust,loyalty,compromise, understanding and patience. And trust me, great sex is a big plus point too. Most importantly, all this could only happen if two people have made a decision and decide to stick to it.
I guess, that is what they mean by, "thru thick and thin"
My point? Well, if you are married, and have accomplished all that with your partner in life, why the insecurity? Even more so, why take that insecurities on others?
I read this somewhere. Marriage is a false sense of security. I have to agree. Two people in love, and lucky enough to be married, must not fall into the too secure mode because that is when they start taking each other for granted. I guess we must practice a little bit of insecurity and throw in a little bit of jealousy to keep the fire burning. But overdoing it is totally unnecessary. It could backfire and kill the love, trust and marriage.
Someone told me, that the secret to a good marriage, is good conversation. I agree totally, but in this millenium, we've got to start adding "good shags and quickies" to the list too. Hey, what did I tell you about human evolution? We need to keep up with times.
What happened to my date that night, you ask me? We are so compatible and would have been married instantly, had he not been a gay. He enjoys (notice the present tense?) the privilege of being my camouflage boyfriend. That is why gays are women's best friends. The sex part do not get in the way. Who say men and women cannot become best of friends?
Sometimes, when I sit and talk to people who face marital/relationship problems, I've come to realize, that, there are many married couple out there who actually wish that they are single again. Some have the courage to settle their problems. Some don't. Some, don't bother. Some can't even though they try. Whatever the reasons are, I sense that there are married people who envy my position of being single again.
At the end of the day, I discovered one thing. You do not need a partner/husband/wife to make you happy. Happiness comes from within. But if you do find that soul mate/companion that you can build a life together, for as long as it takes, then that is a bonus in life. And all you need to do next is to take good care of that gift, and be grateful that you are amongst the lucky ones to be blessed by it.
To all the widows, divorcees out there, trust me when I say, there is life after death. Being alone doesn't mean you are lonely. Well, perhaps at times, but I felt lonely even when I was in a marriage. I guess, happiness does not solely come from having a spouse, rather, happiness comes from within. If you have that special person to share that happiness with, then by god it's a gift, treasure it.
Click here if you have the passion and patience to read more!!...
Looking back, I cannot decide which situation I hated most. The fact that I am suddenly left alone without my soul mate, or the fact that society made it harder on me to be comfortable being alone. I am talking in context of Malaysian scenario. I think it is easier to pick up the pieces and rebuild your life in the sense of getting another partner in life, if you are a Westerner, rather if you are an Asian, comparatively ,I think. And they say divorcees suffer society's ridicule even more so. Widow's gets more sympathy because "it is not their fault that they are seperated". Then again, I have trouble comprehending why divorce is anyone's fault.
You know what I hate most about being single again? You go to a kenduri and people start asking you the famous question," bila nak cari ganti"? (when are you remarrying again?). Everytime someone ask me that question, I cringe inside, and I always hope first and foremost, that she (normally it is the she rather than the he) does not have the capability of reading my mind, or reading my facial expression. Because if she could, she will get this answer," Oh, it is so easy to replace a husband nowadays. All you got to do is wreck someone's marriage, by becoming the, well, at least 2nd wife, or the much less hypocritical non muslim men, their mistress. Or perhaps just get married for the heck of getting married, and settle with loosers, or emotionally unstable recycled men(now, stay tuned for this topic sometime soon) , workaholics, commitment phobics, gay men looking for camourflage marriage, straight men who have sexual dysfunction or whatever it is that make them loose their self confidence, etc...etc.....". But to avoid being rude and wrecking the harmony of someone's party, the standard answer would be,"tak de jodoh lagi". ( No calling yet ).
Having survived and acquired to skill to handle "the question", I slowly realized, that being single again, isn't that bad after all. For starters, I no longer have to put up with that dreadful snore. I bet no one dare say this, but in actual truth, when you work at odd hours and is deprived of precious sleep, the sound of snore may trigger transient insanity so much so, there will be moments when you actually look at the source of that annoying sound, wondering where all that love had gone to, in the dim light, thinking, for just that brief moment, again thinking, will you be able to get away with smouldering a pillow over that source of intolerable decibel by pleading temporary insanity in the court of law.
After all, there was a case in Holland whereby a wife got away with murdering the husband based on transient insanity due to PMS ( that's pre menstrual stress for those who obviously do not suffer from the PMS to not have know what the abbreviation means, or suffer being around insufferable women who suffer the PMS).
Just when I was about to get into comfy zone with being single in society, then shit would normally happen. I will be reminded, that single women are seen by most married women as "weapon of mass destruction". I remember an incident at the club, whereby a lady was very taken in with my daughter and wants her daughter to spend more time together when they are at the club. She kept contacting me to make sure arrangements were made for these two girls to be in the same tennis classes etc.. ( Maybe she thought her daughter may be more like mine . Daaaaaahling...you only catch the flu, not people's contagious personalities and intelligence. That's what one acquires...). I remember her asking about my husband at some point of our brief encounter. It was when she learned that I am a widow, that her call stopped coming.
But what goes around comes around I guess. One fine day, I attended a function and walla, somehow, I ended up sitting beside , guess who? Not the lady with the no-personality-gene to pass down to her daughter, but , walla!! her husband!!! I took one look at him and wondered, in all honesty, what was the reason for her insecurities?? There is a God that night however. I came with a drop dead georgeous date. It really helped that my date was a male. Somehow rather, her phone calls returned. I decided to let it ring, simply because I had a very nice ring tone and I enjoyed listening to it, before dunking her when I changed to a new number.
What is it about not all, but many married women and their insecurities? I agree that there are some women out there who'd stop at nothing to get a husband. Some find it challenging to get someone else's. These women normally look for rich and successful men. After all, if you want to go through all that trouble wrecking up a marriage, might as well make it worthwhile right? Otherwise, it cannot be love, because love is not about demanding, it's about giving. You cannot destroy a marriage, and trust a man who leaves his wife for another women, because, you of all people will know, that he may repeat that habit when he's married to you. The distrust will always be at the back of your mind. What kind of a relationship is built on distrust? Think about it.
But not all single women do that. There are decent singletons who awaits for recycled men to come clean with their problems, and start a new relationship. Unfortunately, or fortunately, however you choose to see it, in Asean setting, marriage is considered to be sacred. It's good, in a way because both husband and wife will give their all in a marriage. But people change, and grow through time. It is the law of the universe, that nothing stays stagnant. It is the ability of a couple to adapt to these changes that will ascertain the longevity of a marriage/relationship, whether it will go the distance. This requires a lot of love, trust,loyalty,compromise, understanding and patience. And trust me, great sex is a big plus point too. Most importantly, all this could only happen if two people have made a decision and decide to stick to it.
I guess, that is what they mean by, "thru thick and thin"
My point? Well, if you are married, and have accomplished all that with your partner in life, why the insecurity? Even more so, why take that insecurities on others?
I read this somewhere. Marriage is a false sense of security. I have to agree. Two people in love, and lucky enough to be married, must not fall into the too secure mode because that is when they start taking each other for granted. I guess we must practice a little bit of insecurity and throw in a little bit of jealousy to keep the fire burning. But overdoing it is totally unnecessary. It could backfire and kill the love, trust and marriage.
Someone told me, that the secret to a good marriage, is good conversation. I agree totally, but in this millenium, we've got to start adding "good shags and quickies" to the list too. Hey, what did I tell you about human evolution? We need to keep up with times.
What happened to my date that night, you ask me? We are so compatible and would have been married instantly, had he not been a gay. He enjoys (notice the present tense?) the privilege of being my camouflage boyfriend. That is why gays are women's best friends. The sex part do not get in the way. Who say men and women cannot become best of friends?
Sometimes, when I sit and talk to people who face marital/relationship problems, I've come to realize, that, there are many married couple out there who actually wish that they are single again. Some have the courage to settle their problems. Some don't. Some, don't bother. Some can't even though they try. Whatever the reasons are, I sense that there are married people who envy my position of being single again.
At the end of the day, I discovered one thing. You do not need a partner/husband/wife to make you happy. Happiness comes from within. But if you do find that soul mate/companion that you can build a life together, for as long as it takes, then that is a bonus in life. And all you need to do next is to take good care of that gift, and be grateful that you are amongst the lucky ones to be blessed by it.
To all the widows, divorcees out there, trust me when I say, there is life after death. Being alone doesn't mean you are lonely. Well, perhaps at times, but I felt lonely even when I was in a marriage. I guess, happiness does not solely come from having a spouse, rather, happiness comes from within. If you have that special person to share that happiness with, then by god it's a gift, treasure it.
Click here if you have the passion and patience to read more!!...
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Thou shalt not coveth thy neighbour's wife (or wives,just in case.)
So what's so great about being in the 40s? It's not. Great in a sense of "yeay..I've turned 40", I mean. What's so great about knowing you're approaching nearer to the grave? Rather, being in the 40s gives you a sense that you have finally established your inner self, or at least getting closer there. You're blessed with the realization that makes you feel, that perhaps you have finally got it together. Like a veil, lifted away from your vision and you more or less understand yourself, and you can see life in a much clearer perspective. It is more about you, rather than what people think about you. You're beginning to know who you are. You define yourself, and not let others' do that for you. Now, THAT is great.
When I was much younger, although I kept saying that I don't really give a fish what people think or say about me, I realise now, that subconsciously, I did care. I cared about what people say about my dressing, I know it mattered because, when I get negative feedback from others', I felt hurt easily.
Today, I could just walk out in my shorts and spaggeti string top when I throw my garbage without a care in the world. In my mind, if my righteous neigbours don't like how I look, then settle their sentiments by simply not looking. I mean, if you claim you are "alim", then even naked women won't move your iman, or if it does, the next best thing is to look away. After all, I will be in my own compound which I have paid for not from their pockets but my own, therefore, let me have my privacy. The best thing to give each other privacy is not by spying, prying or looking into the neighbours house. The time to look into neighbours' matters is when they need help or when there are suspicious characters hovering the house,or it's vicinity, or when you just want to be friendly. Otherwise, if you have nothing good to say, practicing reticence would be wise. (especially when you have pseudoschizophrenic with verbal diarrhea neighbours like me!!). Funny though, where the so called "alim" people dissapeared to when you need help trying to catch the robbers. (trust me, I am talking from past experience) .
Hmmm...maybe that is why 3 of my neighbours right across had shifted out. Maybe they reaaaallllly cannot tahan to see me in my skimpy attire, and in a last attempt to save their marriages from crumbling due to insecurities of their overweight wives, or husbands with philandering records, they've decided that it was better to move out to a less vulgar neighbourhood!!!
Click here if you have the passion and patience to read more!!...
When I was much younger, although I kept saying that I don't really give a fish what people think or say about me, I realise now, that subconsciously, I did care. I cared about what people say about my dressing, I know it mattered because, when I get negative feedback from others', I felt hurt easily.
Today, I could just walk out in my shorts and spaggeti string top when I throw my garbage without a care in the world. In my mind, if my righteous neigbours don't like how I look, then settle their sentiments by simply not looking. I mean, if you claim you are "alim", then even naked women won't move your iman, or if it does, the next best thing is to look away. After all, I will be in my own compound which I have paid for not from their pockets but my own, therefore, let me have my privacy. The best thing to give each other privacy is not by spying, prying or looking into the neighbours house. The time to look into neighbours' matters is when they need help or when there are suspicious characters hovering the house,or it's vicinity, or when you just want to be friendly. Otherwise, if you have nothing good to say, practicing reticence would be wise. (especially when you have pseudoschizophrenic with verbal diarrhea neighbours like me!!). Funny though, where the so called "alim" people dissapeared to when you need help trying to catch the robbers. (trust me, I am talking from past experience) .
Hmmm...maybe that is why 3 of my neighbours right across had shifted out. Maybe they reaaaallllly cannot tahan to see me in my skimpy attire, and in a last attempt to save their marriages from crumbling due to insecurities of their overweight wives, or husbands with philandering records, they've decided that it was better to move out to a less vulgar neighbourhood!!!
Click here if you have the passion and patience to read more!!...
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Turning 40...The Beginning....
Oh yes. I remember my 40th birthday. I was down with a 39degrees fever unlike described by Frank Sinatra's "you give me fever, what a lovely way to burn.". Instead, it was an old lady who gave me that darn fever and trust me, fever caused by bloody virus is definitely not a lovely way to burn. My favourite teacher use to tell me to think of something positive, when you are down. The only positive thing I could think of at that time, was that I was running the right body temperature for giving an excellent felatio. What? It's impossible to think about hiking the Everest when you're already more nauseaus than imagining what the altitude could do to the last content of your food intake.
On a hindsight, I wouldn't have it any other way. You know what they say about a little near death experience is good to get one's life into perspective. ( Hey, I am an Aries, and an Arien is an eternal attention seeking child. It's not my fault I'm a Drama Queen). Well, in my time of despair, there and then I made an important decision in my life. I've decided that it was awful to plunge myself in an abyss of self pity and misery and I will not allow myself a second visit there. I've decided that, turning 40 will be a dawn of a new chapter in my life. I've decided to take charge in writing the plot in this chapter and the theme is being happy while continuing my pursue towards achieving harmonious wealth.
Oh yes, I am an Oprah sucker and in case you've missed the episode where the some experts defined "harmonious health", I'll just fill you in. Harmonious wealth comprises of 5 elements which are, intelligence, spiritual, relationships, health and material wealth. Sitting alone in bed running a temperature that could cook an egg had it landed on my naval (which is a tricky thing considering the extra fat deposited through the years had made it convex rather than concave...) , obviously I need to work more on the health part.
So, on my 40th birthday, I did not go anywhere to celebrate it. That night, I realise I had been in a place where I've not been for a long time. I had been to ME......Suddenly, turning 40 sounds like a dawn of a new begining...
Click here if you have the passion and patience to read more!!...
On a hindsight, I wouldn't have it any other way. You know what they say about a little near death experience is good to get one's life into perspective. ( Hey, I am an Aries, and an Arien is an eternal attention seeking child. It's not my fault I'm a Drama Queen). Well, in my time of despair, there and then I made an important decision in my life. I've decided that it was awful to plunge myself in an abyss of self pity and misery and I will not allow myself a second visit there. I've decided that, turning 40 will be a dawn of a new chapter in my life. I've decided to take charge in writing the plot in this chapter and the theme is being happy while continuing my pursue towards achieving harmonious wealth.
Oh yes, I am an Oprah sucker and in case you've missed the episode where the some experts defined "harmonious health", I'll just fill you in. Harmonious wealth comprises of 5 elements which are, intelligence, spiritual, relationships, health and material wealth. Sitting alone in bed running a temperature that could cook an egg had it landed on my naval (which is a tricky thing considering the extra fat deposited through the years had made it convex rather than concave...) , obviously I need to work more on the health part.
So, on my 40th birthday, I did not go anywhere to celebrate it. That night, I realise I had been in a place where I've not been for a long time. I had been to ME......Suddenly, turning 40 sounds like a dawn of a new begining...
Click here if you have the passion and patience to read more!!...
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Welcome to my age box...The Introduction
Welcome to my new blog. You can call me...oh..just call me Auntie Dot, of course that is not my real name. Nobody puts their real name on the blog. Only idiots do I suppose. Just think of me as the new aunt on the blog. I know it sounds less appealing than the New Kids On The Block, but I think boy bands are so yesterday. The stories in here however, are going to be, I promise you, as authentic as it can get.
Of course I am 40 plus. ( Hellooo....notice the blog title?) . I got it from somewhere that, 40 is the begining of an end, which I beg to differ really. I also got this from somewhere,"40 is when I finally begin to get my head together, only to have my body starting to fall apart." . This one I cannot contradict. It's true what they say, that you can't win them all. C'est la Vie !!
Of course I am a woman. Why would I open up a blog about being in the 40s unless I am one. Men don't talk like we women do. They are so busy trying to live up to their macho expectations. Otherwise they are busy trying to conquer something or fight evil or create issues that cause us women talking in the first place, or whatever it is men do to show how different they are from women. Of course I am not talking about Metrosexual men. Now, someone should open a blog on Metrosexuals.
Unlike men, when women have a crisis, we talk, and talk and talk about it until we decide we are tired of talking. How do you think Oprah is ranked Number 1 in Forbe's "Who made the most money" list, three years in a row. The fact that she is a Billionaire, simply goes to show how much women like to talk. We do it not so much of trying to find solution to a problem, but more so of having to get the problem off our chests. That's when men do not decipher us. They offer solution and get upset if women reject them, when all they could have done to spare the squabble is to just shut up and listen. Not hear us, but listen. Not too hard isn't it?
I will stop at this introduction. There are many interesting things that I would like to share with you from my own experience upon turning 40. I will now go sit in my garden, and get inspired, or get sick of the zen-ness, or whichever that comes first, and come back in here with brilliant things to narrate. I will try to bring you into this journey called life, as a 40year plus sees it (with or without the glasses. Now that's another addition to a 40year old. You can disguise the gray hair with a bit of coloring, but the reading glasses is a dead give away!!!).
This blog may come in handy for men who need to understand women,(or even those who have given up understanding women and prefer to stay obtuse) and women trying to understand themselves. . (See, that is why men find women hard to understand.. Even the women find it almost impossible to comprehend ourselves!!!) . And about men and women trying to decipher life itself. You may learn something from my past experiences. Until then, ladies and gentlemen.......welcome to my age box....
Posted by Auntie Dot at 4:17 AM 0 comments
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Click here if you have the passion and patience to read more!!...
Of course I am 40 plus. ( Hellooo....notice the blog title?) . I got it from somewhere that, 40 is the begining of an end, which I beg to differ really. I also got this from somewhere,"40 is when I finally begin to get my head together, only to have my body starting to fall apart." . This one I cannot contradict. It's true what they say, that you can't win them all. C'est la Vie !!
Of course I am a woman. Why would I open up a blog about being in the 40s unless I am one. Men don't talk like we women do. They are so busy trying to live up to their macho expectations. Otherwise they are busy trying to conquer something or fight evil or create issues that cause us women talking in the first place, or whatever it is men do to show how different they are from women. Of course I am not talking about Metrosexual men. Now, someone should open a blog on Metrosexuals.
Unlike men, when women have a crisis, we talk, and talk and talk about it until we decide we are tired of talking. How do you think Oprah is ranked Number 1 in Forbe's "Who made the most money" list, three years in a row. The fact that she is a Billionaire, simply goes to show how much women like to talk. We do it not so much of trying to find solution to a problem, but more so of having to get the problem off our chests. That's when men do not decipher us. They offer solution and get upset if women reject them, when all they could have done to spare the squabble is to just shut up and listen. Not hear us, but listen. Not too hard isn't it?
I will stop at this introduction. There are many interesting things that I would like to share with you from my own experience upon turning 40. I will now go sit in my garden, and get inspired, or get sick of the zen-ness, or whichever that comes first, and come back in here with brilliant things to narrate. I will try to bring you into this journey called life, as a 40year plus sees it (with or without the glasses. Now that's another addition to a 40year old. You can disguise the gray hair with a bit of coloring, but the reading glasses is a dead give away!!!).
This blog may come in handy for men who need to understand women,(or even those who have given up understanding women and prefer to stay obtuse) and women trying to understand themselves. . (See, that is why men find women hard to understand.. Even the women find it almost impossible to comprehend ourselves!!!) . And about men and women trying to decipher life itself. You may learn something from my past experiences. Until then, ladies and gentlemen.......welcome to my age box....
Posted by Auntie Dot at 4:17 AM 0 comments
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