It's been a while since I wrote in this blog, I almost locked myself out by forgetting my own password. That's another thing about aging. I don't know about aging gracefully, but the memory certainly excuses itself gracefully. Like, oops, excuse me, I've forgotten my own birthday, although this may be due to the brain trying hard to block out the birth date (it happens when the numbers start to hit 4 , with nothing comprising of a single digit, perhaps the brains is superstitious and start thinking "aiyah, 'say' lor"), or oops, I left my kids at the petrol pump toilet, or some singleton like me may forget where our "G" spots are. (that explains why the need to occasionally, from time to time "take matters into our own hands" so that we are reminded of where our love spots are and rekindle how orgasm may actually feel like, otherwise we may actually have to fake it, under pressure). And for those who have no clue what a "G" spot it, it's never too late to Google it....
Where am I going with this article? Well, actually I have forgotten the purpose of me writing this, but trust me, I'm blessed with the gift of describing a confused moment, turning it from an intentional short note into a verbiage. That's a talent any aging, especially women, obtains the moment her body starts to loose the battle against gravity.....(and trust me..everything else will follow that direction from there on), we automatically become naggers. By the time we reach the age of 60, our nagging skills reaches their peak performance and the more you nag, the more people will discover that your memory have caved in ergo you earned the term "senile" . For instance, this nonsense talking had taken up 2 paragraphs, and I still don't have a single clue as what I shall right about.
Ah well, since I've been babbling about aging, why not resume about it. In case you are wondering how to tell that you are aging, here are some tips, from the top of my head, that I think may be worthwhile to know, especially for those who are in denial, on how to know for sure that you are getting old;
1o top signs and symptoms of aging:
1. You look into the mirror to perform the routine facial exercises and wondered whether you have done the frowning expression twice because when you smile, you still look as though you are frowning. You can't really tell, because there are too many lines running across your face, competing with each other to express themselves.
2. Therefore you no longer laugh at the Bulldog.
3. You require longer sleeping hours to recuperate, sometimes too long, even your dreams may run out of ideas. Garfield's quote finally came true "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak" but for those who deny aging, they may say "I am not sleeping, I am in deep thought", a line my daughter likes to use when she gets caught sleeping on her homework.
4. You are ample with wisdom, even long after all your wisdom tooth had fallen off. It's like,just when you've finally gotten your head together, your body starts to fall apart.
5. You are in the middle of having sex and about to have a massive orgasm only to forget which bodily fluids that you're suppose to discharge, the urine or the semen. (applicable to men only)
6. You wonder when someone commented "You're hot", whether he meant that he could actually feel your hot flushes by radiation (applicable to women only, men suffers a breakdown of menopause which is "men-no-pause", trust me, it's more detrimental to others' mental health)
7. You save money; on shavers as hair voluntarily falls off before you can muster the energy to get to the nearest shop to buy them, and on sanitary pad, unless of coarse it is substituted by pad use for incontinence. Apparently, Kiegel has the last laugh for not performing his suggested exercise.
8. You no longer have Mother In Law problems, as most likely she's deceased.
9. The same deeds that your kids use to do that got you screaming at the top of your lungs, somehow seem adorable when your grandkids do them.
10. You don't get amused very easily, and only exceptional people like Samy Vellu makes you laugh, even when he's not attempting to be funny, or when his toupe did not get blown away by the draft.
There you go. If you have some if not all the symptoms above, I suggest you get out of denial, upgrade your will, stop browsing through Playboy magazine, or Home Decor books unless it's the "Home for the elderly - top 10 "
Click here if you have the passion and patience to read more!!...
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Everyone ages. You could either do it gracefully, or otherwise. Me? I'll just do what women do best. I'll just talk myself through it. Join me on a journey of self discovery.
