Humans are scared of the unknown, that is a given. That is why most of us are scared of the
dark. When we are in the dark, we are
left alone with our imagination. You know
what they say about having a good imagination.
Fear, is a price you have to pay for having a vivid imagination.
This is not about a ghost story. No.
This is scarier than that. This
is a story about fear you are left with when you are left in the dark. Sometimes, when you sight senses are blocked,
you reduce distractions to the mind and the mind can occasionally be pretty
mean when left alone with you in the dark.
It taunts you with feeling of insecurity, unhappiness but mostly,
loneliness.
Maybe that is why many people suffer when a relationship
ends without closure. You are left in
the dark, with assumptions and questions pounding your mind, ricocheting.
Sometimes I would lie in the dark and imagine what it would
be like when one dies. I would wonder,
if I die tomorrow, who would miss me. Did
I prove myself worthy enough as a human being for another human being to
actually miss me? I mean, miss me as a
person, not what I can do for them.
When I lie in the dark, sometimes I am left with the thoughts
that I try to push away by keeping busy in the daylight, only to have them
boomerang back when I lie there in the dark, staring at the ceiling.
But there is something that happens when you lie in bed
alone in the dark. You realize, that if
you do not panic when the lights go off, and keep still for a while, your eyes
will somehow adjust to the darkness, and suddenly, as you roll your eyeballs
about their sockets, slowly and insidiously, you will notice that even in the
dark, you will begin to visualize what is around you. If you wait a little more, you will soon
realize, that even in the dark, you are not completely blinded.
2 comments:
secretly i hope it would end when i find my reason being here, to feel like i could make a difference even if it is only to a single person. have you found that something or that someone who could make you stay for a little while longer if death comes knocking?
dear anonymous...
if you ask me the question,"have you found that something or that someone who could make you stay for a little while longer if death comes knocking?" some 6 months before, the answer would be "No".
But pure luck, destiny or whatever we want to call it, has it...I found someone I think I've dreamed him into life (savage garden song), who make me want to live forever, if he lives with me...
But as romantic as this may sound, and although we may never know what is our true purpose in life (to answer to the higher philosophical question from the beginning of man), we at least should suspect that life itself cannot be depending on just that special one person, or that one special something.
Life comprises of many beautiful things..sometimes, it takes effort to recognize them....and although loneliness can sometimes kill us silently and insidiously inside, perhaps we should have more than just that special someone or just that one thing in life that can substitute the reason for wanting to live longer...
Post a Comment